"Behold thy mother" (John 19:27)

May 16, 2023

"Behold thy mother" (John 19:27) - May 15, 2023

Spiritual Thought

The scriptures record five phrases spoken by the Savior as he endured the agony of his crucifixion. These statements were uttered by the Master from the cross itself as he completed his mortal mission. Perhaps there is no better sermon on forgiveness than the simple sentence spoken by the Redeemer on Calvary: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." Our hearts are comforted, even as we shed a tear of sorrow, to know we are not the first to feel abandoned as we ponder on the pitiful cry "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?". However, there is one phrase which I fear is too often forgotten or overlooked. Shortly before offering up His spirit the Savior looked at the small group of disciples gathered at the foot of the cross. As he looked into their faces and saw the agony they were experiencing as they beheld such a grisly scene there was one face which I am confident drew his attention in a special way: His mother. In this moment he certainly viewed her suffering as the Savior of the World. However, I am confident this particular tear-stained face pricked his heart in a different way, as a son looking upon his grieving mother. Even as his body shuddered in pain and he prepared for his imminent death his memory must have lingered, even briefly, in past moments spent with his mother Mary. I wonder if thoughts of childhood games and bedtime stories with this woman crossed his mind. I wonder if he remembered this elect lady, the one entrusted by His Heavenly Father Himself, teaching Him how to pray, how to communicate with the Father to whom he would shortly be reunited. I wonder if he thought of the guiding and direction she had given to him as he grew into manhood. I am confident he must have repeated a cry offered the evening before, but this time it was not uttered for Himself. Surely he must have said something similar to "Father if it be possible, let this cup pass from her". As these thoughts filled his mind he spoke to John, the Beloved Apostle, and gave this man an Apostolic responsibility. Speaking to his disciple he said simply: "Behold thy mother". Of the multitude of directives he could have given one of his Special Witnesses from the cross itself, this is what he felt was most important. To ensure that his mother was cared for, comforted, and protected. I am confident this command was not simply to feed and clothe Mary, but to console and reassure her as she dealt with the ordeal of watching her son be crucified.

As we prepare to celebrate our own mothers in a special way this week my I extend the words of the Savior as an invitation to each of us: "Behold thy mother". May we gain a greater appreciation for all our earthly mothers have done and continue to do for us. Not the least of these blessings is the gift of mortal life itself. Prophets have taught that nothing comes closer to approximating the divine love of the Savior than that of a mother for her child. May I ask that we emulate the love our Savior had for his mother then that we demonstrate such a love to our own mothers. That we may do so is my sincere prayer.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Weekly Update

Hello everyone,

When we made our schedule at the start of this transfer I knew I wanted to go to Antsirabe during the final week of my mission. I have so many good memories from Antsirabe and learned lessons I will remember for the rest of my life. Being companions with Elder Razafimanantsoa again for my second transfer made it that much more appropriate to make a trip to Antsirabe a final send off of sorts. We drove down on Wednesday and did exchanges with the current missionaries in my old area, Elder Cañazares and Elder Ralantoniaina. I was with Elder Cañazares and he is an incredible missionary! We visited Manandona, one of the small branches you may remember me mentioning from when I served in Antsirabe. On Friday Elder Razafimanantsoa and I walked around our area one last time and said goodbye to a few of the people we taught. A very bittersweet but special experience. As we were doing that a woman we had taught named Vololona called us over into the field she was working in. The only thing that kept Vololona from being baptized when I was in the area is that her husband was unwilling to be legally married. She told us her husband is having a change of heart and is not only willing to be married but wants to meet with the missionaries himself. It was a neat experience and also a tender mercy for me. It was as if the Savior was saying he had accepted the work I did, was still aware of the people I had taught and would still provide every opportunity for them to accept the Gospel. As we walked away I turned to Elder Razafimanantsoa and said "There may be other missionaries assigned here but this is still our area." I am so grateful for all the lessons I have learned, not only in Antsirabe, and hope to one day visit again.

After returning from Antsirabe life turned into a whirlwind of packing, goodbye dinners, last pictures with missionaries and reflection on the past two years. Tomorrow marks the beginning of a new chapter in life, one which is just as exciting and intimidating as a mission was twenty four months ago. I'm anxious to see what the Lord has ahead and will be forever grateful for the opportunity to represent him in two missions, on two continents, in four countries, speaking three languages and working with sixteen companions under two mission presidents. I'm anxious to see how the Lord can use me next and what lessons he is preparing.

I'm also anxious to see all of you very soon! It has been too long and I'm excited to hear everything that is new in your lives.

I hope you all have a great week!

Thank you, Testimony and Goodbye

The time has come to write the final chapter in this adventure I have been able to share with all of you. Ever since the first day I wore my nametag I knew this moment would come and I knew it would be difficult to accept. To say it is bittersweet to write this is a pathetically inadequate statement.

I would like to thank each of you for your constant prayers, encouragement and support. In their own way every person reading this has had a hand in molding these past two years into what the Savior wanted them to be. Thank you for praying and fasting on my behalf. Those pleadings and sacrifices have not gone unnoticed by our Father in Heaven and they have been apparent to me in sacred and innumerable ways. There have been angels at my side throughout this journey. Many of those were sent because of the faith and at the request of family and friends. Many more waited patiently at home hundreds or even thousands of miles from my side.

Thank you for your interest in these weekly reports and for taking the time to read them. It has meant more to me than you could ever know. I hope the stories, which ranged from spiritual, to entertaining to perhaps a little absurd, were enjoyable and brought a smile. That is less important to me, however, than knowing something which was said strengthened your faith in Jesus Christ and made you want to become more truly a disciple of Him. That was the purpose for it all. Not only my purpose for these past months but the purpose of all that was included in every email. If, through it all, you were unable to clearly see the Savior as the purpose behind every action, the motivation for every decision, the strength in every step, the reason for every smile and the colossus towering over each and every moment of this journey then I have failed. If you are reading this final installment amused but not any more converted, then I will be forced to accept the reality of falling short of the trust placed in me and resolve to become better going forward.

Something that has been made abundantly clear to me and has been impressed strongly on my mind recently is the joy which comes from testifying of and studying the words of the Master. The weekly spiritual thoughts included in each email have proved to be one of the most personally defining and molding elements of my mission as they constitute my thoughts and spiritual progression collected into one location. I hope they have helped you in some way. They have certainly helped me. Along with that, I have felt an undeniable impression that I need to continue testifying of the Savior through written words once my mission concludes. For that reason, I will continue writing about Gospel topics using the blog created for these weekly emails as a type of pre-existing platform. Many of the details of what this new chapter will look like and entail are still being decided. However, I will make those decisions over the coming weeks and will be making at least two posts each month (on a slightly repurposed and possibly redesigned page) beginning in July. I am very excited to continue in the same spirit as what these emails have been but with the aid of additional resources which are unavailable to missionaries. I intend to discuss topics from time to time which have not been included in a weekly report. If you have enjoyed or, more importantly, been strengthened by these emails then I would invite you to continue reading using the blog link and to share with any friends or family members whom you think may benefit. The purpose in doing this is in no way to satisfy some sort of need for attention or to "make a name for myself." Rather, it is to use a tool given by the Savior to provide one more flicker of light in a world being ever more deeply submerged in darkness. Once again, if it is not abundantly evident that Christ is the blazing light guiding this next step and the unbreakable fiber binding all that will be said or done together, then I have already failed. As friends and family I ask each of you to please share the link and other information with any and all you may know.

It is nearly impossible to condense all the lessons learned over the course of a mission into a few brief sentences. However, I have learned beyond the faintest doubt that Jesus Christ is the Savior and Redeemer of the world. He is my King, my exemplar, my confidant, counselor, hope and friend. A life without Him would not be a life worth living. His true Gospel has been restored at the hands of the prophet Joseph Smith, one of the truly "noble and great" spirits held in reserve by our Father in Heaven for such a time as this. After falling at the feet of my Savior in gratitude I anxiously await the opportunity to then turn to Joseph the seer and thank him for the truths he restored and for sealing his witness with his blood. In that moment I hope I can stammer out a woefully inadequate synopsis on what The Book of Mormon has meant to me and explain just how completely it has transformed my life and heart. I will thank him for enduring mobs, burying children, being betrayed, forsaken and martyred so that I could hold in my hands a sacred record which testifies of the Savior of the World like nothing else available. I will tell him that as he felt the burn of hot tar on his flesh, or the agony of searching in vain for his infant son's pulse or heard the sound of bullets rushing past his head there was at least one observer behind the veil who hid his face from these horrible scenes and exclaimed "Praise to the Man who communed with Jehovah." It is difficult to say whether my love or conviction for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is embedded more deeply in the marrow of my bones. This is the truth. This is where authority; actual, legitimate authority may be found. This is the church where God speaks, not spake. This is the only path to lasting joy and the possibility for eternal life. This sacred work will continue to fill the globe one heart, one home and one repentant sinner at a time.

Until we meet again at Jesus' feet.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Elder Payne

Advertisement for the apostate Madagascar mission.

With one of the members in Antsirabe.

One of the tires fell into a hole and we almost got stuck. We had to get rocks to put under it and a group of people came to push it out.

With Elder Cañazares and one of the Manandona branch missionaries.

Manandona.

With Elder Cañazares. Fun fact: There’s a member of the seventy from the Philippines named Elder Carlos G. Revillo. Elder Cañazares is Elder Revillo's grandson.

We accidentally locked ourselves outside on the balcony.

Antsirabe.

With Elder Razafimanantsoa in our old area.

With Vololona.

With Jean Marius and his family.

L to R: Elders Ethington, Sherwood, Galbraith, Me.

The Jacob's five year old daughter, Becca, told me I'm her best friend in the world and invited me to not only her baptism but also her wedding. She wanted to take a selfie.

Then their three year old son, Timmy, also wanted a selfie. The hat he's wearing is traditionally worn by Malagasies from the Betsileo tribe. Timmy is always wearing this hat so everyone calls him "Betsileo kely" which means "little Betsileo."

After all these months I finally signed my name on the restaurant wall in Antsirabe.

Not my baptism but Elder Cañazares had over twenty baptisms this week. I think it's safe to say the field is white in Madagascar.

After walking home in a downpour.

This picture was taken over six weeks ago while we were in Fort Dauphin and Elder Razafimanantsoa just barely shared it with me. I finally found a Malagasy who is taller than me!